I need to bare my soul for a second. Is it just me or have we missed some honest to goodness chats lately?
I’ve been so caught up in sharing a Christmas tablescape and the playroom and our entryway and every other evergreen-clad nook and cranny of this house, that I haven’t really had a chance to spill my guts… which is kind of how this blog started to begin with since this is basically my diary…
…which you guys read. Stalkers. (Just kidding.)
I’ve been so honored to be joining some incredibly talented bloggers along with my good friend Ashley from Cherished Bliss for this weekly Christmas Room Series. If you’re stopping in from Design, Dining, and Diapers, welcome to our abode! Today is Christmas living room share day.
(Affiliate links are provided below for convenience. For more info, see my full disclosure here.)
But can I tell you something that is really hard for me to admit? I struggle with self-doubt. Every. single. day.
I don’t at all want you to think this blog post is some kind of pity party. But it’s just the truth and what’s been on my mind. The past couple of weeks, Christmas tours have been exploding all over blogland, friends on Facebook have been sharing their Hallmark-worthy Christmas traditions with their kids- trips to the mountains, perfect family portraits, visits with Santa, adorably creative Elf on the Shelf ideas.
And I start thinking, “I’m not doing enough.”
Who is this voice in my head and why won’t she leave?
Because really… every single day I can’t believe how lucky I am to be blessed with so much. But I can’t help that the self-doubt is still there.
I have to tell myself that behind those magazine-worthy home tours, those perfect moments encapsulated for the world to see, there is real hardcore in-your-face imperfection that I think we often take for granted.
Once that camera is turned off, life happens.
Real life where kitchens are messy, dinners are burned, toys are tossed all over the place, beds are unmade, and some of the most perfect Saturdays are spent in your pajamas with bed head all day. And maybe that’s not camera-worthy, but that’s so much more beautiful than any photograph could ever convey.
I hate admitting that insecurity is a very real thing for me. But I’d be lying to you and to myself if I told you I have it all figured out. Once I come to terms with that, when I remember that real life happens when the camera is out of sight, my self-doubt melts away.
So I cleared the toys out of our living room. I vacuumed our floors and dusted our mantel. And for about 5 seconds, I enjoyed a 100% clean living room.
But do you know what happened after those 5 seconds? I realized that clean spotless living room didn’t feel like home. So I busted out some rolls of paper to make a wrapping station on our coffee table.
And after fluffing those pillows on our sofa, Lola helped me give them that squishy look again.
And I glanced at our mantel and realized just how silly and petty my insecurities were. Because Christmas should never be about decorating the perfect house or cleaning up every crumb, buying the most impressive presents or baking the best cookies.
It’s about one little miracle that changed the world. That makes my own struggles, no matter how big or how small, completely erasable.
Because when I walk out of my front door of this house decorated to the gills with greenery, the photographs of this room won’t even matter. A smile to a stranger, some spare change in a red kettle, a visit with a friend you haven’t seen in a while… that is what makes Christmas more beautiful than any sparkling tree.
But the best part about creating a comfy cozy home is having that soft place to land at the end of the day. Where you can recharge and reflect and truly just be. Because even Mother Teresa said, “If you want to change the world, go home and love your family.” It doesn’t even have to look perfect to do that.
I truly hope if you struggle with the same thing around Christmas, if you find yourself constantly worn down trying to manage that long to-do list and bumping into discouragement, that you give yourself a break. I promise you, you’re not in it alone.
“As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love.” – John 15:9
“Come to me, all who are weary, and I will give you rest.” – Matthew 11:28
The next stop on the tour is Little Glass Jar where I know Ashley has prepared lots of pretty inspiration.